The Pickle

What is a guy to do after a two-by-four moment? At the time, it was not the perfect scenario to be engaged. Martha and I were technically dating but we only saw each other on weekends in St. Louis or Columbia. Our families knew we were "friends," if not "good friends," but would they be expecting an engagement? She was looking at some job prospects but there were not any big leads yet in St. Louis. The thought of continuing a long distance relationship was scary enough, but the thought of a long distance engagement was down right frightening. I found myself in a pickle. My mind was made up with what I wanted to do, or so I thought, but I didn't yet see on how it was all supposed to work.

While trying to figure out how it would all come together, I needed to talk with a friend about what was going through my mind. He had already taken the plunge himself and maybe he would have some words of wisdom for me.  Over dinner we walked through Martha and I's long and complicated history, my thought process on why she was the one and why now was the time. He told me he saw no flaws in anything I said but cautioned,

"Once you push that boulder over the hill... you will not be able to get it to stop. Be sure that if and when you are ready, you are really ready."

What he said did not give me pause at the moment, but once digested, it did resonate. Was I really ready? Was this about emotions or was this really the next step in my life? After a brief moment of reassessment, another part of that dinner conversation came to mind. He shared with me his engagement story, details about the wedding day and the joys of married life. While it might have given me pause, it presented an ultimatum. If an engagement was really the next step, if this was the course my life should be taking, my sign would come. There was no need to worry about a long distance engagement. If this was supposed to happen, the pieces would fall into place.

What came as a surprise was how quickly the pieces fell into place. Just a few weeks later Martha was offered a job with the Parkway School District in St. Louis. She would be moving in June and would be in St. Louis full time by the end of July. My sign had just been delivered. My mind was made up. I would be asking this girl to marry me and soon. The only things left to figure out were the minor details of a small piece of shiny metal with a sparkly rock on top and the most romantic proposal ever. Piece of cake... or so I thought.